Project #29736 - paper corrections

I attatched the original.

Corrections needed:

 

I have the following suggestions mostly having to do with the organization and focus of the paper.

What you have written in the introductory paragraphs is conclusion, not a description of the question that is being investigated or the organizational structure that the paper will follow in order to answer the question. For instance, this might be a better introduction.

Title of the Paper  "The Russian Revolution and Withdrawal from World War I 1917-1918"

"This paper will examine the connection between the Russian Revolution and the consequent withdrawal of Russia from World War I 1917-1918. The relationship between World War I and the Russian revolutions is a close one. First the paper will look at the dire war front situation in 1917 that fed the flames of two revolutions in 1917. Included in this investigation will be the collapse of the Russian front, the February Revolution that deposed the tsar and led to his resignation, the establishment of a Provisional Government, and the establishment of  new war goals and battle plans by the Provisional Government (July offensives and desire to stay in the war to be on the winning side). The second section of the paper will look at the return of Lenin to Russia, the Bolshevik Revolution in October 1917, the establishment of new war goals by the Bolsheviks, the beginnings of civil war in Russia and the costly withdrawal of Russia from World War I. The focus of the paper will be on how World War I caused revolution and Russian withdrawal from war."

This paper is investigating a really important historical question as our world is full of the twin events of revolution and war. Does revolution cause war or does war cause revolution or both? You have all the information you need already to make some organizational changes. The goal is to let the reader know what your primary question is and how you will go about investigating it. You don't need to use this verbatim, but it might give you some ideas how to better focus and organize the paper based on what you have already done.

The annotated bibliography is good but for each source also explain how you used it in the paper.

Subject History
Due By (Pacific Time) 05/04/2014 12:00 pm
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