Project #32199 - Business Writing



1. Revise the following sentences, replacing many of the Latinisms, unnecessary noun phrases, and jargon with plain language:



a) It is incumbent upon our sales representatives to make overtures of a positive nature to prospective clients prior to the finalization of their respective sales forecasts.


b) In accordance with managerial policy, any intensification of effort on the part of employees leading to a maximization of production will be met with commensurate compensation.



c) It is the decision of supervisory personnel that, with respect to employees, attendance charts will be maintained on a monthly basis.



d) It should be noted that greater utilization of the company manual, which pro-vides an outline of factory hazards, will have as a consequence an improvement in our safety record.



e) We would be obliged if you would give an indication of the parameters of the de-livery problem so that we can interface with suppliers about this strategic matter in the interest of effectuating an improvement.




2. The following response to a report was written by a highly trained business manager. Rewrite the paragraph in plain language.



While the initial study committee has made a skillful and in- depth analysis of the alternative resource mixes as they relate to the proposal in question, the optimal functions as selected by the committee’s thematic projections would suggest a non-affirmative response if the executive office were forced to make an immediate decision. In view of the paramount importance of the multifaceted aspects of the proposal, it is my recommendation that a special task force be created with the assigned responsibility of appropriately developing sound administrative options to the pro-posed implementation decision. Reliable and tested administrative procedures would enhance the practicality of the proposal and add to the incremental viability factors essential for the type of creative innovation that functions within established guidelines.




3. Use appropriate transitions (linking words) to join each group of sentences into a single sentence.



a) Many brides insist on a lavish white wedding. Forty per cent of marriages end in divorce.



b) The client was late. Appointments started to back up. The supervisor had to see some clients herself.



c) I enjoy coffee. I get really tired when I drink too much. It keeps me awake all night long.



d) You get a headache when you use your computer. You should have your eyes tested.


e) Sadie is a conscientious worker. She does not always solve problems effectively. She is not very creative.



f) Ahmed is a very good student. He gets terribly nervous during tests. He gets poor marks at the end of term.



g) You faint at the sight of blood. You aren’t a very good candidate for medical school.



h) Leslie really likes going to movies. It costs her a fortune every time she goes. She usually ends up watching TV instead.



i) There was an attendance policy in effect at the college. Students were inclined to miss classes on Fridays. The teachers decided to have all of their exams and tests on Friday afternoon



 j) The lawyer decided not to represent his client. The client told his lawyer that he had murdered his girlfriend’s husband.




4. The following paragraph is well focused, but it is boring because so many sentences start the same way. Revise it by substituting pronouns or synonyms for the subject or by put-ting something in front of the subject.



The Excalibur photocopier has many advantages. The photocopier is fast, producing a page in half the time of our present one. The photocopier can print in colour, unlike our present one. The photocopier is reliable as well, and has a six- month warranty on parts and service. The photocopier produces high- quality reproductions so that much of the work we now send elsewhere could be done here. The photocopier will therefore have paid for itself in a year. The Excalibur photocopier is, in my opinion, the best buy for our needs.




5. In each of the following sentences, decide which of the two independent clauses should have the main emphasis, and then change the other clause to a subordinate one. For extra emphasis, try putting the main clause last.



a) The safety inspector came, and we stopped work.



b) I have worked outdoors, but I have no experience as a forest manager. c) He didn’t have anywhere to stay, and I invited him home.



d) The costings are accurate, and they are later than anticipated.



e) She is disciplined and hard- working, and I think we should hire her.




6. Make the following sentences more forceful. Get rid of clichés and clutter (some of it jargon), and use personal subjects and precise, active verbs.



a) It is to be hoped that our sales figures for the month of February will show a consistently steady improvement.



b) Considerable concern existed on the part of the directors that our expenditures would be in excess of revenue and that the end result would be bankruptcy.



c) June Briant was quite involved in the planning of our campaign and her contribution has been recognized by us as a factor in its success.



d) Due to the fact that permission has been granted by head office for employees to have an extra day of holiday over Christmas, Christmas parties for all departments should be completely restricted to hours not normally part of the working day.



e) The problem of employee dissatisfaction has been increased by the unwillingness on the part of the supervisor to conduct an investigation into the complaints made by employees with regard to ventilation.


Subject English
Due By (Pacific Time) 06/03/2014 12:00 am
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