Project #39809 - Compre Contrast Essay

I have included a rough draft compare contrast essay on MOOCs (Massive Open Online Courses) I have all the resources/referemces you need. i just need you to rewrite the essay i already have written and follow the instructions. Please use the resources provided. It's 1000 words but the rough draft i have is already 800.

Please use this feedback my professor gave me based on my submission:

-The semi-colon in the first paragraph should be a comma, since the first half of it can't stand on its own as a complete sentence.

-Your intro is strong, but you stop short of offering a specific thesis. As I read it now, the thesis is mainly that the articles offer different opinions. I would refocus so that your essay asserts what you think the principal similarities or differences are and why you think that matters.

-Similarly, the topic sentence of the first body paragraph is rather general. When you say "positive opinion of the subject" what do you mean? MOOCs as an educational tool? Their ease of access? You want to make sure each body paragraph has a specific point of argumentation.

-From there, there isn't really a transition to the 2nd body paragraph. You want to think about how one idea flows into the next.

-One place where you might develop and add length to the essay is in places like body paragraph 2, where you offer a lengthy quote but don't contextualize it or offer transition out of it at the end of the paragraph.

-Be careful of awkward wording. Read the sentence beginning "These professionals agree" aloud.

-Your concluding sentence doesn't really follow from the one before it. I think you could explore this a bit more. For instance, if technology is the future of education, do Head's concerns apply?

Subject English
Due By (Pacific Time) 09/14/2014 12:00 am
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