Project #42134 - Peer Reviews

I have attached 2 papers that need to be evaluated using the below questions. They also need to be screened for any grammactical errors as a peer review you must insert comments. I attached the paper checklist and the 2 papers that need to be evaluated .

Global Evaluation:  The following questions are meant to encourage you to examine the paper as a whole, to identify its strengths and weaknesses in addressing the assignment, argumentation, organization, structure and style.

 

1.  ASSIGNMENT: Does this draft carry out the requirements of the assignment?  Evaluate the primary analytical argument for the essay; do you find the essay to be unified by a strong, clear, precise and sufficiently complex point of view?  Offer suggestions for revision and improvement. 

 

2. SOURCES: Does the draft make direct, detailed, relevant and thorough use of the sources under analysis?  Indicate on the essay any areas of confusion and make suggestions for areas that might require more direct “evidence” from the sources.

 

3.  STRUCTURE/ORGANIZATION: How effectively do the organization and structure of the paper clarify, expand and explore the essay’s argument?  Is the essay well organized around conceptual claims, connected to its overall analysis, rather than based on a simplistic organization that merely lists points (“One ‘example’…“Another….”)? Do you see a logical progression in the essay’s argument, each part of the analysis using and building on the previous parts?  Offer suggestions for improvement and revision. 

 

4.  Style/Grammar: Are there any patterns of problems stylistically or grammatically in the essay so far?  Are the sentences clear?  Are the paragraphs clear?  Make suggestions for improvement in clarity and correctness.

 

5. Overall: Take a few minutes and read through the essay again.  Write a paragraph here of overall holistic evaluation, identifying both the most noteworthy strengths of the essay as well as those elements that need the most attention for the final revision.  Keep in mind that you are providing a commentary whose aim is to help the writer see what s/he has done most effectively, while identifying areas to be addressed in the next revision.  

 

Requirements for Papers 1. Topic/Thesis: ADDRESS THE SOURCES NOT THE ISSUE; THIS IS NOT A RESEARCH ESSAY OR A PERSUASIVE ESSAY IN THE TRADITIONAL SENSE. There are still quite a few essays which focus on a generalized topic rather than a thesis which makes a specific point about the nature of the source material. The thesis for each essay should make a specific and precise point about how the sources overall present the issue/topic, as in the samples I provided on the assignment sheet. If your thesis does not refer to the sources (the “literature”) or make a precise point regarding them (“The sources concerning the root causes of schizophrenia show an inability to agree on fundamental concepts related to the condition; as a result, many studies emphasize environmental factors while others insist on a genetic cause……) Essays that do not address the basic requirement of the exam may not pass the “literature review” assignment for the class. 2. Opinion/Persuasion: This is NOT a persuasive essay but opinion may play a role if handled within the guidelines of the assignment This is not a typical “persuasive” essay where you are attempting to convince someone of “your side” of the issue. A successful literature review may not necessarily establish an opinion on the issue (for instance, if I am pointing out the differences in various articles about the subject of obesity, I am fulfilling the requirements of the assignment without necessarily inserting my own opinion about which is correct). However, your opinion may play a role here, as long as it is attached to the specific thesis concerning the sources. For example, above, I gave you the sample, “The sources concerning the root causes of schizophrenia show an inability to agree on fundamental concepts related to the condition; as a result, many studies emphasize environmental factors while others insist on a genetic cause……” If I was knowledgeable enough about the issue I might end this point with a statement like “Ultimately, all of these differences of opinion in the literature concerning schizophrenia reveal that all sides, whether based on environment or genetics, are describing the affliction too narrowly.” I’ve added an opinion/judgment here that is appropriate because it is directly tied to an evaluation of the source material which constitutes the bulk of the essay. However, the assignment is NOT a persuasive essay where you simply establish a point unrelated to the sources under analysis 3. Organization/Structure of the Essay: The Literature Review must maintain a focus on the sources throughout the entire essay not only in the thesis statement. There is a tendency for some people to write a successful thesis statement which makes a clear point about the nature of the sources but then, within the body of the essay, to lapse back into standard research essay mode, where the sources are merely plugged in to support general claims about the issue. Keep in mind that the essay needs to be organized around points that are 1.) relevant to an analysis of the sources; and 2.) connected back to the thesis. Sample Thesis: The sources concerning the root causes of schizophrenia show an inability to agree on fundamental concepts related to the condition; as a result, many studies emphasize environmental factors while others insist on a genetic cause……” Sample statements organizing the body within the essay: 1. Even studies that focus solely on the environment as the cause of the sudden onset of schizophrenia disagree about which parts of the environment are most important. Some emphasize family upbringing while others talk about economic conditions. (This is a specific point that relates back to the thesis but develops it further). 2. Ultimately, despite these major differences between the “environmental” proponents and the “genetic” proponents, the sources do agree on some fundamental issues, such as the best treatments currently available. (Here is a statement that might come late in the essay, after thoroughly emphasizing and exploring the differences. Now, despite these differences, are there any elements of shared ground that are worth exploring? But, again, the statement emphasizes the nature of the sources and relates back to the overall purpose of the essay). The rule of thumb is that each essential point within the body of the essay should be focused on the “literature” (just like the thesis) and should provide some point (a kind of “sub-thesis”) that directly relates back to—and helps to develop—the main argument of the essay. If your paper lapses into summary, unconnected to a larger point, or starts merely plugging in quotations without explicitly analyzing the sources or supporting your thesis, there may be a problem. 4. Attention to Sources/Quotations: USE RELEVANT QUOTATIONS WHERE EFFECTIVE AND APPROPRIATE As I mentioned elsewhere, you should keep the essay within the 8-10 page parameters; a paper that gets too long may not have control over its material. Some sources may get more attention than others—you don’t need to use all equally, though they should all be used somewhere in the text of the essay. You are not summarizing the material one by one, so the paper should not read like a long list of sources, each summarized before moving on to the next source. Rather the sources should be used to develop points that demonstrate how you have compared and analyzed the sources generally. For example, the sample statement “Even studies that focus solely on the environment as the cause of the sudden onset of schizophrenia disagree about which parts of the environment are most important. Some emphasize family upbringing while others talk about economic conditions” would require me to support it with specific examples of the sources that advocate these different positions. Within my list there might be one that best represents its side of the argument; therefore, that’s the source I might devote the most attention to within this section of the essay, as well as using in order to provide a direct quotation. I can, then, state that there are other sources that share a similar position without going into great depth about each of them. Keep in mind that you should be using direct quotations where appropriate and relevant—the reader needs to see direct evidence from the “literature;” but don’t allow the essay to overwhelm the reader with excessive quotations. Further, you should provide adequate set-up to each quotation (how it supports the argument you are making) as well as relevant direct commentary on it. Reminder: Your essay needs to follow closely either APA or MLA guidelines on citation, quotation formatting, etc. Please review these guidelines before submitting the final version of the essay. They should be available at Writer’s Help, MLA.org, or the “Online Writing Lab” at Purdue University. 5. Introduction: KEEP INTRODUCTION BRIEF AND MAKE SURE THESIS IS DISTINCT Introductions should be concise and be developed so that they make it clear to the reader what the thesis is for the remainder of the essay. Make sure your introduction is not excessively long or that the thesis is lost in a sea of words. Provide a few lines (3-5) of general set-up for the essay, then get to your thesis more directly. Make sure it is clear and decisive enough to stand out from the surrounding material and make clear to the reader that it is putting forth the main ideas for the remainder of the essay. 6. Paragraphing: ONE IDEA—ONE PARAGRAPH; KEEP READABILITY AND CLARITY IN MIND Each paragraph in the essay should introduce and support only a single main idea. Paragraphs can, of course, vary in length, but excessively long paragraphs need to be broken down by looking for places where there might be a change in focus or the introduction of a new point. At those places, establish a new paragraph. But the rule of thumb should be “one specific/precise point—one paragraph.” Review the draft to make sure your paragraphs are readable—will the reader grasp the point of each paragraph? Further, will the reader be able to see the transitions and connections between paragraphs? You can break paragraphs for stylistic reasons or reasons of readability. For instance, I might have a paragraph that provides a general overview of differences of opinion within the research. Because the integration of quotations within that paragraph might make it very lengthy and difficult for the reader to “absorb,” I might decide to use the quotations in a separate paragraph the follows. So, for example, the topic sentence of the first paragraph might be (going back to my sample): Even studies that focus solely on the environment as the cause of the sudden onset of schizophrenia disagree about which parts of the environment are most important. Some emphasize family upbringing while others talk about economic conditions” Now this paragraph generally would talk about these differences. The next paragraph might start with the statement, “Blanc, Freleng, et. al. are the best representatives of the group who focus on broken families, arguing that the disruptive conditions in the family can increase the likelihood of mental illness suddenly appearing in young adults. In their research, they write [intro. quotation here]….” Because the integration of the quotation in the first paragraph would make it too cumbersome and lengthy, I have decided for stylistic reasons to create a new paragraph whose sole focus is the introduction of specific quotations.

Subject English
Due By (Pacific Time) 10/05/2014 12:00 am
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