Hi, I really need to get my paper revised in a emergency. I need to get my paper revised based on the feed back I got.
I find the topic of your paper very interesting and relevant, and I’m very glad to see that you invested time in this paper. There are some compelling ideas here, but they are often obscured by awkward wording. More importantly, a major thing to focus on first is sharpening the focus of the paper. It is not very clear what your statement of purpose is. I understand that the topic of your paper is conflict resolution strategies, but it is not clear what the problem is that you are addressing here – what is the main claim that you’re making. I see that you are mentioning several things: how the conflict comes to be, in which situations it escalates, how it manifests, the skills that children need to have in order to resolve conflicts, about the importance of parents and teachers teaching children the effective conflict resolution strategies, and so on. There is no mission, that is, purpose of the paper that would glue all these things together.
Individual paragraphs are often very unclear, and it is also not clear how each of them relates to any specific topic. All paragraphs in a paper should somehow speak to one and same claim that your paper purports to make (a thesis statement).
Another challenge that should be addressed is related to the writing style. As someone with the experience of being an international student, and as a non-native speaker, I can very much relate to the challenge you may have with expressing your ideas adequately. We may have wonderful ideas in our mind, that once we try articulating them in our non-native language come off as simplified and not very elegant in comparison to how we would be able to say it in our mother tongue. It takes a lot of writing and a lot of constructive feedback, and again a lot of writing to master this wonderful skill. I am here for the content related assistance you may need with writing, but I also highly recommend you benefit from the tutoring services they have at Pratt. I worked for years as a tutor as several writing centers, and I know how amazingly helpful these services canbe. There’s no need to struggle alone when you could be getting a lot of assistance from someone competent and enthusiastic to help.
Good luck revising and I look forward to reading your final paper.
One fine body…