Project #54818 - Creating a Businesslike tone

The following message was written by the marketing manager of an online retailer of baby products in the hope of becoming a retail outlet for Inglesina strollers and high chairs. As a manufacturer of stylish, top-quality products, Inglesina (based in Italy) is extremely selective about the retail outlets through which it allows its products to be sold.

Email Example

Our e-tailing site, www.BestBabyGear.com, specializes in only the very best products for parents of newborns, infants, and toddlers. We constantly scour the world looking for products that are good enough and well-built enough and classy enough— good enough to take their place alongside the hundreds of other carefully selected products that adorn the pages of our award-winning website, www.bestbabygear.com.

We aim for the fences every time we select a product to join this portfolio; we don’t want to waste our time with onesey-twosey products that might sell a half dozen units per annum— no, we want every product to be a top-drawer success, selling at least one hundred units per specific model per year in order to justify our expense and hassle factor in adding it to the above mentioned portfolio. After careful consideration, we thusly concluded that your Inglesina lines meet our needs and would therefore like to add it. (Bovée & Thill, 2012)


For the assigment:

  • Analyze the strengths and weaknesses of each sentence.
  • Recognize the overall purpose/goal of email correspondence in a business environment.
  • Revise the message so that it follows the guidelines outlined in your textbook.

The paper should:

  • Be 1-2 pages in length (not including the title and the reference pages).
  • Be double-spaced, in Arial or Times New Roman font, with a font size between 10 and 12 point.
  • The margins should not exceed 1" on all sides.
  • Follow APA guidelines for formatting, including the title and the reference page

Subject Business
Due By (Pacific Time) 01/29/2015 03:00 pm
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