you have 6 comment. dont delete original sentece just edit what teacher's said. But please make perfect work. This is final draft. now my essay is 2 and half pages long it should be 3 pages after you add feedback.
Maybe introduce a few of the benefits you believe outweigh the drawbacks of homework.
Benefit of homework part:
These sound like great reasons that could be used as topic sentences for your body paragraphs. You've already talked about how homework can help improve overall scores. Now discuss how homework can help students manage their time and work with others.
and Mia. Remember that you need to focus only on one.
Be careful starting a paragraph off with a quote.
Pretty good conclusion, Mia. You may consider after developing some of your other body paragraphs giving a little more information in your conclusion about these things as well.
conclusion should include more summary(important imformation) of your essay.
Overall, For your next draft, focus on developing those other two body paragraphs (benefit of homework,recommended)
supporting your claim. Also, be careful about how you're using your sources. You have some great information here, but be sure not to let the sources do the speaking for you. I noticed this the most in your refutation.
|Due By (Pacific Time)
||05/04/2015 07:00 am